Would you believe me if I told you that more timber was delivered as per instructions and the infamous bed has been built without further mishaps?
Well, more fool you!
The Significant Otter did indeed lend a van from his friend’s workplace, and they did deliver a sufficient amount of the right kind of timber for me to finish the bed. I laughed aloud when I realised all pieces were 10 cm (about 9 in) too long! Nevertheless, I put the bed together, changed the sheets and vacuum cleaned the bedroom, and it all looks very nice now. Even the extra length will probably work out in the end, too: I’ll build a shelf or a headboard on it later. We can has a bed!