The Joke

Let’s for a moment, suspend the fact that I’m an atheist. I came across this picture, and I thought: ”why, that’s actually a good point.”

Supposing the chat is real, the Mormon should probably have answered something along the lines about the Devil tempting bad people and gathering their souls to harness them as soldiers for the Armageddon. But suppose also that Lucifer, the Morning Star, the Light-bearer, didn’t really fall. Suppose he had a deal with God that his job, as the Angel of Angels, to set up a place to punish the bad people. So the Devil isn’t actually bad. He’s just doing his job. I mean, Angels are supposed to be perfect, right? So why would they be prey to such things as pride (which, they say, caused his downfall)? I call it a conspiracy. Poor Lucifer. He’s just misunderstood.

Speaking of people disparaged for no reason. The talk of the town is that the Devil made Eve eat from the Tree of Good and Evil. Following the logic from the above, God wanted humans out of the Paradise anyway, but since he’s supposed to be the ultimate good guy, he couldn’t just go ahead and kick them out. So he creates man, and, obviously on purpose, makes him fallible (after all, he created Angels, who are perfect) and, apparently, gives them something called Free Will. Then he goes and points at a tree, and says ”Don’t Touch This Tree, OK?”

People, you know people. You give them a big red button and, sooner or later, someone’s bound to push it, just to see what happens. Eve did God a favour. It’s a little disproportionate that God gave her pains of childbirth as thanks. I mean, that’s just rubbing it in. God doesn’t play dice. He plays a very funny version of charades, where the opponent has a blindfold. A bit of an arsehole, if you ask me.

By the way, the other theory is that God kicked Adam and Eve out because he was afraid they would next eat from the Tree of Life and become gods themselves. Come on! Why would you stick a tree like that in Paradise, and never even mention it?

Someone just mentioned that the Old Testament is a build-up which prepares people for the message of the New Testament. So, in the OT, God is a fucking bastard, vengeful and mighty, and a bit heavy on the smiting. Makes poor Moses sit in the desert for forty years to discuss agricultural theory with him, among other things. Vilifying all kinds of people and agitating people for violence.

Then, suddenly, he comes back as Jesus, right, and preaches about how everyone’s supposed to love each other and leave the smiting bit to Him, la la la. I’ll tell you what it is. It’s God playing the Good Cop, Bad Cop all by himself. Jesus suffering on the cross? Please. Obviously, it was an act. He’s the Almighty God, I bet he can’t even feel physical pain. I’m saying Mankind is the butt of the biggest Joke in the Universe. But I can’t really blame God, either. Being the only Supreme Being and the Creator of everything must be a pretty lonely job. It’s no wonder he goes a little cuckoo after a while.


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Heard it through the grapevine:

It Has Been Written:

May 2011
« Apr   Jun »


And guess what!

Give me all your money:


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