Burlesque (2010)

Fake. Predictable. Mary Sue.

That film with Christina Aguilera and Cher in it. In the first scene, which serves no other purpose than an attempt to create a back story and to introduce the talented and witty and brave and smart and beautiful Mary Sue Alice from a kitsch little town leaves her stereotypically stingy boss to realise her dream of becoming a dancer/singer in Hollywood. Enter the first Chekhov’s Gun as she stashes her meagre money in the standard hiding place in the toilet water container thing (at least in Coyote Ugly the protagonist used the freezer*). Ah. She’ll be robbed later, then. She fails to find a job, obviously, but because she is super positive and determinate and pretty, she doesn’t get discouraged. By chance she ventures into a burlesque club next to the second Chekhov’s Gun, an unfinished condo building. Alice plunges into the underground club and is instantly taken by the burlesque atmosphere, and the first person she meets is, obviously, the handsome bartender Jack.

And on and on.

The film was full of Mary Sue wonderful things happening to a pretty girl, and, except for a half decent comic relief here and there, the film was… Predictable. The only surprise I had when I took the girl with the glasses as another Chekhov’s Gun, and she wasn’t! She was just pointless. My bad.

Apart from the first song or two, there was virtually nothing burlesque in Burlesque. It was… terrible. However, there was a point somewhere in the middle where I actually forgot I was watching a film… So I guess someone somewhere did something right. I also applaud the visuals in the film, I especially enjoyed the club interior.

* It also wasn’t pretending to be a musical.


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Heard it through the grapevine:

It Has Been Written:

February 2011
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And guess what!

Give me all your money:


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