On dating… (pt.1)

I have my first date lined up. A cuppa and a film. I’m all kinds of terrified, really. What if it’s just as much a catastrophe as my previous three (!) experiences on the no holds barred game of dating? What if it’s… awkward? What if. Argh.

On one hand, I lacking and solely missing some sort of physical and mental contact to an another person, and on the other, I’m not sure I’m ready to get all muddled up with human relations. I mean, dating. For one thing, it just goes against all my sense of fair play and morals and ethics and whatnot to date more than one person at a time. I think I would want to know. But I probably wouldn’t like being one of many options. Would it be fair to tell? Does first meeting count as a date? What do you say if the other person is a great match but there’s no chemistry on a romantic and/or physical level, or, worse yet, it’s not mutual? How do you stop yourself from taking it personally if he/she just doesn’t like you?

Those who are more experienced in the Dating Thing, please share your experiences and the rules you think apply. Meanwhile, my three dates (which have been recounted before, but here’s for the new people…) in the past thirty years:

1) The Guy I Technically Lost My Virginity To While Roaring Drunk

This guy, he contacted me about 9 months after the aforementioned incident, and this was Before The Time When Everyone Had Mobile Phones. Somehow, he found where I lived, and contacted me via a neighbour I had never met. We arranged to meet in a bar. I arrived on time, sat at the bar stool and wondered if he was any of the people in the bar. Some time later, I asked one of the vaguely familiar looking ones if he happened to be TGITLMVTWRD. Lucky, he was. He had been sitting there from three hours before, and things kind of went downhill from there.

2) The Guy With A Lisp

“Will you go to Brazil with me?” He started out in a bar with a pick up line I’d never heard before. He also said I have a “nose of a reporter” and to this day I have no idea what it means?* I gave him my number despite an intuition that I wasn’t really interested. He responded with a text message (a short poem, which at that age I didn’t really appreciate) and we ended up going on a date to a photograph exhibition, where I found out he regarded his opinions to be the only correct ones. Further on, he spoke two hours about his pet/s, and in the coffee shop, I had to lean back to avoid the spittle. Needless to say, we didn’t meet again. The highlight of the date was a fire alarm at the gallery, and the arrival of  a firetruck full of firemen…

3) The Guy Who Forgot I was Coming

A random Kenyan met on a street asked me to come to his place, promised to cook for me. As I showed up, he wasn’t at home, but by chance came around while I was still at the door. He was baffled as to why I was there and who I was. Yeah. We ended up having a pizza, sex, and a very short relationship where I found out I have no tolerance for jealousy.

Since then, I pretty much made up my mind about not going out with guys I don’t instantly fancy (whereas earlier I thought I should give them a chance to change my mind). This is probably why I haven’t been out…

WAIT. I remembered a fourth date!

4) A 36 Year Old Immigrant Who Thought I Was 16

‘Nuff said.

…since the dawn of time. I haven’t been asked out either, but that’s a whole another story.**

*it’s kind of wide with a snub and bends a little downwards?
** Actually, that is the story.


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Heard it through the grapevine:

It Has Been Written:

February 2011
« Jan   Mar »


And guess what!

Give me all your money:


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