15
Jan
11

Gripes

Clearly, we have some. Since Q Art Lounge is getting closed at the end of the month (cutting our exhibition by a week), I’m less certain about my future as an artist.* The end of the gallery makes me sad, for Juha’s sake mostly, and mine too. I invested a lot of emotion into the place — I avoid trusting the future or making plans in fear of things falling through, and this time I did the mistake of having some faith that something good could come without a strenuous battle for it. The universe, that wanker, slaps me in the face again.

The the laptop. Mugen returned safely and has been working nice and quiet for the past few days. But my Wacom mouse tablet is definitely broken. It’s an expensive thing to replace. Not having one means saying goodbye to Oddunout, making custom textures for 3D models, as well as doing any computer generated art. I don’t sleep well lately, food has no appeal, the exhibition is a week away and I’m still very much unfinished. My flatmate is being a terrible slob, as usual, and driving me insane. Latest exhibits include food on the kitchen floor and remains of a haircut on the bathroom floor.

I’m so tired.

I wish I had something positive to write about. I usually try to avoid posting when I have nothing new and at least relatively interesting to say, but I just had to put this out somewhere. Here, have a picture:

Idling (2010), Photoshop


On other news, there’s now an updated portfolio at dragostries.com — my portfolio site — which is not very impressive, but at least it works, unlike the previous version. Also, I hit the book sales rather heavily. I love my new books, but I’m not too fond of my financial situation in the near future.

I really, really want to run away. I know from experience that it doesn’t solve my problems, but it’s getting to be too much to deal with. Here’s another picture I won’t be making again in a hurry:

Madness of the Birds (2010), Photoshop

 

Yes sir, I am being a martyr. Grant me this moment of self-pity before I have to pick myself off of the floor again to face the reality.

 

*It provided a safe platform for me to try my wings. I’m not confident enough to pay outrageous prices for galleries, nor to apply for exhibitions. Too scary.

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